Before a mental breakdown
A suicidal son made a plea
‘Einstein wasn’t a good father
The only project he gave up on…
…Was me’
He cheated on his wives and mistresses
With his cousins, enemies and the devout
His famous last words weren’t understood
So they stole his brain to find out
Before he’d had his fill, of the thrill, he’d trill
“I want to go, when I want to go, you know
It is tasteless to prolong life artificially
I have done my share; it is time to go”
Cheating, he explained, was the norm among humans
When a man forces himself to remain monogamous
It’s a “bitter fruit for everyone involved”, although
“One should do what one enjoys, and won’t harm anyone else”
He claimed “harmless and decent”, groupies are best
They’re “no danger to the divine world order“, “Trust me”
He joked that the fun is in luring, those with ‘more respect
For the difficulties of “triangular geometry”
Well, of course, he knew one of his lovers was a Russian agent
Cooed her like a rockstar, on the violin with a tune
You can’t escape from the family circle
He claimed, “This is our common misfortune”
And it wasn’t infidelity itself, that was a test of character
But how both parties behaved, as a result
Took great care to prepare, his release to the press
And the kids he’d left behind, as an adult
Lieserl was born out of wedlock
So, she promptly disappeared
A virtual particle of history
He’d accidentally engineered
Eduard studied to become a psychiatrist
But by 21 he had lost the one mind, he truly prized
Electroconvulsive therapy was quite a shock
With electrons, forcibly institutionalized
Poor Ed loved music, art and poetry
But as an “insoluble problem” to all
As he hung…
A picture of Sigmund Freud’s head
Rather than his father’s, on his wall
They didn’t know what they aimed to gain
By dissecting Einstein’s fine, meaty brain
But didn’t expect, of course, to find the source
Of all future human pain, let me explain…
… They looked for, what’s now known as, a ‘blunder’
Grey matter, with dark energy, hidden within
The cause of constant despair, wasn’t there!
So, they popped it back in
They found an extra ridge, on his mid-frontal lobe
The part mostly used for planning and memory
Most people have three ridges, but he had four
That nobbily spare ridge, caused asymmetry
The dissected brain was ultimately returned
To his heirs, well to those he ‘knew’ were his kids
Who promptly donated it to a museum
Without removing the lid