Zero 13

Ad-v-ce + bc-v-bce (Wokey dokey)

Since year dot, man thought a lot

Why there was no year called zero

The Christ was born, in year one

And already, to many, a hero

 

But there was no time, before the divine

Moved the goal posts, and gave the ‘sign’

To start the race, and haste, the pace

From a brand-new starting line

 

But say “Happy Holidays” not “Christmas”

Jesus wouldn’t mind

Exclude nobody, to celebrate

And take more time, to be kind

 

We just got bored, in the year of our lord

Now the year of our common era

Yet ‘holiday’ still means ‘holy’ day

So all sing ‘Hello loo jar’, ya fool ya!

 

(n)One

Which number multiplied by itself, always equals one?

Well, one times one is one of course

And none times none is none

So one solution, no convolution?

No hesitation or complication?

It’s simple, almighty unity

 

Which number multiplied by itself, always equals one?

Well, one times one, is one of course

And minus one, times minus one, also equals one

Two solutions? Turning a full revolution

A revelation, worth contemplation

Inviting… no, begging …for scrutiny

 

Which number multiplied by itself, always equals one?

Imaginary one times imaginary one, now let’s see, yep that’s minus one

And, minus imaginary one divided by minus imaginary one, that equals, err …

Damn, I think we’re done

 

Heroes and zeroes

We looked high and low, for the final digit

Throughout all which infinity encloses

Only to spy, right between your eyes

It was hidden right under our noses

 

We looked under a one

And there it was… gone!

 

Nothing was ventured

Nothing was gained

Nothing was set free

Nothing was tamed

Nothing was lost

Nothing was found

Nothing lay dying

Down there on the ground

 

Nought was saved

Zilch was recovered

Nowt finally out

Zero discovered!

 

Just cos it can’t be seen, anywhere

Doesn’t mean nothing’s, not there

 

Harps a hummin’

Harps a hummin’ endlessly

With natural harmonics

Resonating frequencies

No cherubs to voice phonics

 

Background radiation pleased

To duet with the demonics

Of fizzing vacuum energy’s

Super-position-sonics

 

In space, no one can hear you sing

The sound can’t leap the void

But matter dances to your tune

So gravity waves are deployed

 

And you just try to stop them

Through dark, as fast as light

They get everywhere, and everywhen

Shaking all bodies with delight

 

So, songs from far away, long gone

All reach their destination

Exciting others from afar

To join the celebration

 

We’re classic fandango-in’

So no need, for entangle-in

Still takes two, to be tangoing

So please, no manhandling

 

Your atoms can’t help vibrating

To transmit, life’s swan song

Unless the waves are inverted

So, all the sound is gone

 

But no one’s ever managed it

Such cosmic noise reduction

It would take an almighty force

To pull off such destruction

 

But what a fuckin production!

Expansion, beat by reduction

Big bangs, outdone by suction

Multiverse-icide by seduction!

 

…Corruption!

…Divine Instruction!

 

St Even’s oddity

Even plus even is even, yes even, and

Even plus odd is odd, that’s odd, so

Odd plus odd is even, it’s even boys

And odd plus even is odd, Thank God!

 

You know what seems really odd to me?

Numbers not divisible by two, hee hee

But why no name, for those shared by three

Then four and more, to infinity, Praise be!

 

Even plus even is even, yes even, and

Even plus odd is odd, that’s odd, so

Odd plus odd is even, it’s even bots

And odd plus even is odd., Thank God!

 

Your phone number gave you away

For the sake of eligibility

I used to enjoy being precise

But since it got me in a fix

I just stuck with being nice

 

“You don’t even know your own phone number”

Something I no longer say, although

0 (oh) is not a number

Try a nought, or a zero

 

Zero is a magnitude, not a number

It represents an empty quantity

It may have little value to you

But in mathematical terminology…

 

…Nought is the one and only additive identity

Added, it leaves anything unchanged

Rational, real and complex numbers

No matter how they’re arranged

 

Multiplying by nought, has the result nought

A quite unique mathema-magic trick

And consequently, dividing by nought

Has no meaning, in arithmetic

 

Without a thought

Nought was bought

 

Whole numbers, v natural numbers

Both infinite series, just grow

But you can still take one from another

Leaving you with a perfect zero

 

Just three things

There’s just zero, one and infinity

Nothing else exists

Just fettle some ones, to get all the numbers

Cos the other two, are fixed

 

In Hilbert space each number we assign

Is associated with, what’s called, a ‘dimension’

It’s just an analogy of a coordinate system

Not a real place, you could take a vacation

 

There’s a single wave function of the Universe

And, it obeys Schrodinger’s equations

Sure, it’s embedded in Hilbert’s big old space

But nothing else is needed, to describe the situation

 

Render my splendour

You have nothing. zero information

Only intuition and sensations

To interpret for recreation

Untouched since infancy

And bless, you still can’t see…

 

You don’t open your eyes, and see my atoms

Nor the photons I reflect, or radiate

You just register a measure, of electricity in your brain

And your mind conjures up an image, to compensate

 

Consciousness is an illusion

You’re just processing information

You wouldn’t even identify, self-awareness in a fly

A fungi, algae, algo, moon or constellation

 

You’ve never seen a true triangle

A perfect circle, or a lame square

They are archetypes or ideal forms

A label for a shape, not really there

 

You’ve never seen a blood-red rose

All of the red, is in your head

A label for light of that frequency

Allows you to be, willingly misled

 

You’ve never smelled a blood-red rose

Yet the scent makes the experience richer

Chemicals put electrons in your mind

It’s just a label. Get the picture?

 

And you haven’t even touched anyone yet

Electrons on the surface of your palms

Were repelled by hers, never actually meeting

Sure, it ‘felt’ like holding hands

 

Reality is way too complex for your organic brain

What you see and feel ain’t real, just a sign

Just measures of energy, we call ‘information’

Representing complex systems, in your mind

 

That ole’ grey matter evolved to hide reality from you

Put in simpler terms, to avoid all that self-despair

Optimizing your chances of survival, not your understanding

There’s a good reason to hide, what’s really out there

 

Absolute infinity

Play a game of nothings, with me

Double or quits, I’ll win, you’ll see

Nothing exists, you’ll surely learn

Best of three, there’s no rules, your turn

 

-Well, err, there’s only infor…

No, there’s only numbers

 

 

-If there’s only numbers, then

There’s only the primes

The others are just combinations

Of these fundamental units

On which we spend

Too much of our concentration

 

-There are no things, in the net Universe

I don’t actually think, therefore, I’m not

Well, ‘I know nowt, I know that’, for sure

So, there must be at least one thing

But maybe, not a lot

 

-If there’s only two things

They are the Universe’s wave function

And my utility function

And simply nothing more

 

-Aha, quantum and consciousness

Or…

If there’s only three things

Rock, paper, scissors…

…Win, lose or draw

 

-If it’s three, then, zero, one and infinity

Nothing else exists

Just ‘fettle’ some ones, to get all the numbers

Cos the other two, are fixed

 

-If there’s four

You gotta adore

Sensation and sense

Knowledge and understanding

 

-Each creation, equals more

Than, the sum of its parts

The meaning of countless

Works of art, still outstanding

 

-Nah. if there’s only four

It’s space and time

Matter and energy

No need for more

 

-Nope, that’s reducible

Spacetime’s a single thing

And matter’s just frozen energy

So we’re back to just two, all in

 

-Oh, and no consciousness in there?

Physics, but no thoughts, to declare?

Nope, just disinformation, not a care

All the ideas, in the end, go nowhere

 

-Well, you got as far as four, or perhaps more

But hidden fails, nailed your argument’s coffin

No matter how high you fly, and you’ll go high

You’ll fall back to my side, with nothing