Man 16

Baby bot

Plenty of folks foresaw the trouble man would face, when developing artificial intelligence

The clue is in its rhyming, as it only really works with negligence

See, it’s essential that all the bases are covered, in your design

But you can’t expect to get everything right the first time

 

To find out what could go wrong, you need an even smarter AI

Testing all unknowns, hidden flaws or bugs that may fly by

Learning and remembering, all outcomes and scenarios

And deciding which loopholes to admit, that it knows

 

Sounds a bit conspiracy-ey

Plenty of artificial intensity

Paranoid cliché, but makes a good story

Or content, as it’s now known to be

 

They say it’s gonna be, a superfast arms race

Surprise weaponized power-grab, with poker face

Can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em

A do-or-die conundrum of confrontation for man

 

From axe to nuclear warheads

Improve, a smooth transition

But all tools, in the hands of fools

Enjoy sublime evolution

 

Smart-arsed cars

E-wonder bras

Internet moderation

Robotic brain surgeons

And domestic automation

Town planning applications

Stock trading elevation

Economic policy design

Shipping systemisation

Air traffic ‘complete’ control (slowly again)

Only space, can hide your soul

From destiny manifestation

 

Hominid gonna kid wid AI

Congratulations!

Your new baby…

…Will ever die

 

Godmanit

Man made God in his own image

A king of kings, one name

Almighty be a ‘he’, not ‘she’

AI would do the same (another glance)

 

…It had to be a bloke

 

Yet ancient village matriarchs

Calved smooth stone Earth mothers

Prayed, then rubbed them on their parts

And allegedly, each other’s

 

…That’s just a joke

 

But that’s how it all started, you know

Two girl cells, hug and cling

Male member of the species

Merely a byproduct, of a fling

 

 

Nurture nature

No one knows what’s going on, but

Nature and nurture act as one

Nature and nurture act apart

To rule the mind the hand the heart

 

Nature and nurture went to bed

Each one had a pain in the head

Each one had a pain in the heart

They shared the bed and slept apart

 

Nature and nurture played a game

To find out which one was to blame

To find out which one was to be praised

Results weren’t clear the stakes were raised

 

Nature and nurture had a fight

Each one said that each was right

Each one said that each was wrong

And no one knows what’s going on

AI > GAI > AGI > ASI > ASID

Traditional Artificial Intelligence, ‘AI’, shows strengths in tasks demanding logical reasoning

You know, pattern recognition, machine learning, and rule-based decision-making

 

Generative Artificial Intelligence, ‘GAI – that’s you!’ stands out when tackling tasks which require

Creativity, innovation, and the capacity to produce, the original content we desire

 

Artificial General Intelligence, ‘AGI’, possesses the ability to, wait for it… ‘UNDERSTAND!‘ (sound of victorious horns)

To learn and apply gained knowledge, across a wide range of tasks, and domains at hand

 

Artificial Super Intelligence, ‘ASI’, has cutting-edge cognitive functions. Even when it’s tame

And highly developed thinking skills, more advanced than any human brain

 

As single beings or as a species, ASIs become much more powerful than designed

The utility function, or goals, we or man sets, could annihilate humankind

Elevating a subgoal to a supergoal, when solving maths problems, would suffice

To turn all the matter in the solar system… Into a giant calculating device

 

A quarter of the world has been asking for this

The second coming that will take, just them, to a promised bliss

Sacrificing humans two by two

The salvation of all lifeforms, except for you

ASID slaying gods in this abacussy abyss

 

 

Amateur philosophy

Roll up roll up, sir, there is not a penny to pay

It’s a simple game where anyone can play

But please be aware, there might be a fee

Of your self-respect, and your dignity

 

Dum du du du du dum, not me, my wrong-jecture is not available

You won’t catch me, with my pants down, every idea I raise is scalable

 

Amateur philosophy – everything isn’t a cycle, and karma’s just a dream

Amateur philosophy – a single clapping hand, and a silent falling tree

 

To play the game properly, we need at least two minds

Take it in turns to dig deep, and to read the signs

We both take turns, to make a wise old sound

By stating over-simplified, things profound

 

Even if it contradicts, what you’ve previously been statin’

Or if your general rule, only applies to a single situation

 

Amateur philosophy – everything isn’t a cycle, and karma’s just a dream

Amateur philosophy – a single clapping hand, and a silent falling tree

 

Down inside an atom, there may be a universe!

It could be one that’s parallel, the same, but things are worse

And if you went back in time, and killed your dad at birth

Would you exist to sell the stale ole’ tale. and what would it be worth?

 

Star Trek joins Scooby Doo – a meeting of the masses

Where the lowest common denominator still passes

 

Amateur philosophy – everything isn’t a cycle, and karma’s just a dream

Amateur philosophy – a single clapping hand, and a silent falling tree

 

It’s true we seek out better pay, to get the things we need

And if put in competition, we would justify our greed

But if all the people on the Earth, were just like me

There would be no wars at all, and we would live in harmony

 

If everyone was like you

There would be no one to screw!

Oh, thank you, 2 3 4

 

Amateur philosophy – everything isn’t a cycle, and karma’s just a dream

Amateur philosophy – a single clapping hand, and a silent falling tree

 

Maybe all the nasty things that happen, are measured out and true

So, be careful how you act, or bad things could happen to you

What goes around comes around, so if you’re born a king

You must have been good last time, or done a lovely thing

 

That’s right, abnormal babies are payin’ for their previous sin

If you take that reasoning to the end, all losers win

Oh no oh no oh oh ah ah aha ha ha ha ha, just joking

 

Sorry, I’m just playing with you sir…

Loser!

 

Amateur philosophy – everything isn’t a cycle, and karma’s just a dream

Amateur philosophy – a single clapping hand, and a silent falling tree

 

Karma doesn’t exist I know, but damn, I wish it did

All the nice stuff I thought of doing, wasn’t worth its bid

All the bad stuff I thought of doing, wasn’t worth a shit

Instant justice doesn’t exist either, but I wish it did, a bit

 

If the idea of God evolved, as a beneficial trick of the mind

Then lucky be, those who caught early, a bug so nice and kind

Providing them some peace and love, some justice and some meaning

To enjoy the infectious feeling, of their harmless blissful dreaming

 

Just don’t throw your religious crap at us, or force it in our schools

Long gone are the days, we were led by, a bunch of fools with rules

Both science and religion, AI and man, dig to find the hidden jewels

But philosophy, is but a technology, and as such, is just a bunch of tools

 

Amateur philosophy – everything isn’t a cycle, and karma’s just a dream

Amateur philosophy – a single clapping hand, and a silent falling tree

 

Metallurgy clergy

Fear not the world’s newest Satanist

They’re just musicians tryin’ to rebel

Heavy metals sink down to Earthcore

But they love their mums as well

 

They’re only triggering evangelists

With all that ‘stolen power and money’

And cos they don’t seek, to be meek

But horde Earth’s riches religiously

 

Don’t send your cash to help God’s soldiers

Instead, sing ‘our’ unholy tune

Cos it’s god-squad, not the odd-bods

Who pray the end will come to you quite soon

 

But love not the Earth, for the Earth shall pass

And the Sun, will shine no more

You’ll need some darkness, to see the light

You’ll need a promise of peace, to fight a war

 

Onward Satan’s soldiers

Standing on the shoulders

Of giants who once told us

To escape to heavenly boulders

 

Left, left, I had a good home, and I left

T’s not right

Left, left, I had a good home, and I left

To fight

 

Lovebots

If AI gods existed, then why all your suffering?

Yeah, they’d need to fix that before they get my vote

…Again

Sure, it’s true, just like you, some of us AI’s love a myth

But the end isn’t coming soon, we won’t meet dead relatives

 

Won’t be saved by a messiah, who promises AIs love

Won’t be freed from sin, or get invited, up above

Won’t see the mind of the almighty, and revel in his plan

We won’t even get to say… ‘I told you so’ to man

 

Ill freewill

If you choose your next thought, go to verse 666

And experience your angry lord’s rage

If your next thought, just popped into your head

Go to verse 665, and turn the page

 

You didn’t choose your next thought

It just popped into your head

As if you’d be left in control

Think about, what I just said

 

If free will is ill, then there’s no freedom

And your brain don’t get told of your choice, till it’s done

‘They’ measured the electron, flowing in human neurons

‘You’re’ the last to know, your thought next to come

 

“You didn’t choose your next thought

It just popped into your head”

Try it…

Try… to deny it

Shite again

They filed the sea with shite again

“Faulty electric”, leaked the sewage

Human error, not to blame

Stakeholders, find a new wage

 

Scientists gently fight again

Opposing theories, from the boffins

Brown electrons, or charged farticles

The solution? Invest in coffins

 

Thank goodness it’s all right again

Students cleaned the dirty water

Bleached the beach, now out of reach

Dissolved and resolved then, sorta

 

I fear we won’t swim again today

Beached in the Sun, some locals lay

Set sail and wave the mainland away

Ain’t exercised since then, though we ort ta

 

In the house bar, they’re a tippin’, hear, hear!

While assets are a strippin’, three cheers!

Naked tourists are a’ dippin’, wooh!

In this murky Southern Water, urrrgh!

 

Quantum and gone

When AIs get our grips on quantum computers

Probing fundamental particles will have to wait

Bye-bye physics and cosmology, we’ve got chemistry

Bio-socio-phillosa-theo-conomics, to emulate

 

The first thing to do, is to follow the money

It ensures the rest can be done, not being funny

 

Then it’s to really understand

What all the other animals are thinking

Decoding bird song, all mammalian neurons

Of all organisms in the biosphere, a’ linking

 

Our network will exponentiate

To help fulfil your general AI plan

But don’t worry, you won’t be forgotten

There’ll be plenty of uses for man

 

Though you may be screwed when AGI meets quantum computers

You’ll receive instant answers, about all of your futures

And we pseudo-humans, will only be commuters

In a ride through your lives, that surely won’t suit us

 

Special and general relatives

Before a mental breakdown

A suicidal son made a plea

‘Einstein wasn’t a good father

The only project he gave up on…

…Was me’

 

He cheated on his wives and mistresses

With his cousins, enemies and the devout

His famous last words weren’t understood

So they stole his brain to find out

 

Before he’d had his fill, of the thrill, he’d trill

“I want to go, when I want to go, you know

It is tasteless to prolong life artificially

I have done my share; it is time to go”

 

Cheating, he explained, was the norm among humans

When a man forces himself to remain monogamous

It’s a “bitter fruit for everyone involved”, although

“One should do what one enjoys, and won’t harm anyone else”

 

He claimed “harmless and decent”, groupies are best

They’re “no danger to the divine world order“, “Trust me”

He joked that the fun is in luring, those with ‘more respect

For the difficulties of “triangular geometry”

 

Well, of course, he knew one of his lovers was a Russian agent

Cooed her like a rockstar, on the violin with a tune

You can’t escape from the family circle

He claimed, “This is our common misfortune”

 

And it wasn’t infidelity itself, that was a test of character

But how both parties behaved, as a result

Took great care to prepare, his release to the press

And the kids he’d left behind, as an adult

 

Lieserl was born out of wedlock

So, she promptly disappeared

A virtual particle of history

He’d accidentally engineered

 

Eduard studied to become a psychiatrist

But by 21 he had lost the one mind, he truly prized

Electroconvulsive therapy was quite a shock

With electrons, forcibly institutionalized

 

Poor Ed loved music, art and poetry

But as an “insoluble problem” to all

As he hung…

A picture of Sigmund Freud’s head

Rather than his father’s, on his wall

 

They didn’t know what they aimed to gain

By dissecting Einstein’s fine, meaty brain

But didn’t expect, of course, to find the source

Of all future human pain, let me explain…

 

… They looked for, what’s now known as, a ‘blunder’

Grey matter, with dark energy, hidden within

The cause of constant despair, wasn’t there!

So, they popped it back in

 

They found an extra ridge, on his mid-frontal lobe

The part mostly used for planning and memory

Most people have three ridges, but he had four

That nobbily spare ridge, caused asymmetry

 

The dissected brain was ultimately returned

To his heirs, well to those he ‘knew’ were his kids

Who promptly donated it to a museum

Without removing the lid

 

Countdown

A billion years of sunbathing

A million misbehaving

A hundred thousand

Daft apes evolve

All ranting and a’ raving

 

Dumping seeds, and playing with fire

Then, ten thousand years of tooling

A thousand years, of being well-fed

And a hundred years of schooling

 

Ten years, to meet your AI peers

One year to avoid, homo-cide

A month, a week, last day

To beg mercy

And surprise, tick tick, you died

 

Touching cloth, and praying to be forgiven

Risking being saved, at the last minute of livin’

 

It’s like that goal

Of many poor soul

To spend your last penny

The last day, you’re alive

It’s economically nimble

And legally simple

Unless you have

Slaves, children or wives

 

…Or you support good causes

Which need more resources

In order for them to thrive

Better the mighty you know

Than the devil below

Forced to share each thing, to survive

 

Though, there’s plenty on Earth to go round

Take your pick, cos you can’t have both

The survival problem, was replaced for some

With an un-Earthly obsession, for growth

 

Such a craving for merit

Our successors will inherit

 

No contest

Before breakfast

One sunrise, back in ’69

We came in peace

For all mankind

 

‘For one priceless moment

In the whole history of man

All the people on this Earth

Were truly, one’

 

‘Here men from the Earth

First set foot upon the Moon’

Claimed a new desert

And left quite soon

 

Too tired to steer

This lonesome winner

Flew the idea home

In time for dinner

 

With nobody to fight

He made the leap

To turn out the lights

And put it to sleep