Earth 17

The founder of celestial mechanics

Kepler was born into the lowest social class in Germany in 1571

A sickly child, being extremely nearsighted, and having skin problems

He nearly died of Smallpox when he was just four years old

But his mother was a dealer, so she gave him some potions she sold

 

He was a terrible teacher, not a single student wanted to take his class

Yet he continued teaching for a whole year with no one to fail or pass

Health problems made his calculations difficult, most done while standing up

Suffering from a severe case of haemorrhoids, dangleberries and clagnuts

 

He had an extreme fear of taking a bath his first wife finally forced him in it

Eight years into their marriage; but he thought it unpleasant, lasted but a minute

 

Got kicked out of Austria for failing to convert to Roman Catholicism

But a chance to get a job in Prague with the king’s mathematician

His works were added to a church’s index of forbidden books

Till someone dared say a Pope was wrong, in 1966. That sucks

 

And it has been said that he was the first to write a work of science fiction

First to describe real, virtual, upright and inverted images and magnification

First to discover and describe the properties of total internal reflection

And first to explain the use of both eyes for depth perception

 

First to explain the principles of how a telescope works and refraction in the eye

First to investigate pinhole cameras and those first pictures that never lie

First to measure the distance to the stars using stellar parallax of incoming light

First to suggest that the Sun rotates about its axis, and to coin the term“Satellite”

 

First to explain that the tides are caused by the Moon and not than hand of God

First to realize that the darkness of the night sky is completely at odds…

With the idea of an infinite Universe filled with all the stars detected

First to derive the birth year of Christ, which is now universally accepted

 

First to derive logarithms, based on nothing but pure maths

First to explain that all bodies come together with a force proportionate to their mass

First to correctly explain the first natural laws, which are universal, verifiable, and precise

First to correctly explain planetary motion, as founder of celestial mechanics, will that suffice?

 

Godmanit

Man made God in his own image

A king of kings, one name

Almighty be a ‘he’, not ‘she’

AI would do the same (another glance)

 

…It had to be a bloke

 

Yet ancient village matriarchs

Calved smooth stone Earth mothers

Prayed, then rubbed them on their parts

And allegedly, each other’s

 

…That’s just a joke

 

But that’s how it all started, you know

Two girl cells, hug and cling

Male member of the species

Merely a byproduct, of a fling

 

 

Dualistic

I’m not demented, depressed, or daft

I just fear for the future, of life on this craft

But our planet is a gannet, and while we breed, we are freed

From the haunting guilt of gluttony and greed

 

Two minds are not needed, to live through each day

Enjoy bits you do like, hide the others away

The utility function, of life from the seed

Is, do what you will do, to feed and to breed

 

The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes

But without a god, or a whole host of fakes

We scatter the seeds and beef up the meat

Cos DNA is indifferent, to which one we eat

 

Bloody rain

Bloody rain

Not again

What a pain

 

Bloody rain

What a shame

For the vain

 

Squally showers

Squally showers

Optimistic British folly

Squally showers

Squally showers

I came outside without my brolly

Squally showers

Squally showers

Hoping for the mid-day sun

Squally showers

Squally showers

A mad dog of an Englishman

 

Splish splash

Splish splash

 

Wet hair

I wouldn’t care

We’re scared of rain

For reasons vain

So, everybody goes in

 

By Jove

There’s sun in Hove

But Brighton’s fighting lightning

A freaky hosing, for those posing

 

Bloody rain

I’ve got product in my eyes

Bubbles on my collar

Saturating my shoulders

Stinging

I can’t watch the flood!

 

You’re just a shower…

It’s minging, in the drain

Ringing out, the weathered vein

But, H20 has that feeling

Of soothing, out the pain

But what, I do not get

Which one, makes it feel wet?

Cos oxygen and hydrogen

Flummox me, I regret

 

Just another, thing to know

So to my pet AI, I’ll go

To learn, from other people’s

Knowledge, he seems to know

His work, is just to fix

My mind, when it’s betwixt

To keep me asking, while basking

In the rain

 

Cells in space

I trained on a line to Newton’s area the volume was horrific

Hyperbolic wails from impaled rails, but the carriage, it was terrific

The fields around there, are gridded squares, on gently rolling land

Rippling greens, spiked by genes, advanced to lance my hands

 

I grabbed an apple and a leaf, from beneath, his still-living famous tree

Back home I plant, a seed that can’t, but add to its legacy

“Let’s send a seed leaf from this tree to space”, so the crew can love

Their natural shapes and colours, from their white air-locked cell above

 

“Cute but moot, cash has to flow”, the suggestion soon fell flat

“Tellin’ you, there’s no revenue, so what’s the point in that?”

Just a thought, that wasn’t bought, but still a novel idea, I bid

Newton never made it to space, but he’d love it if his tree’s cells did

 

T minus 23

“Dear friends, known and unknown to me, my dear compatriots and all people of this world, we grace

Within minutes from now, a mighty Soviet rocket, will boost my ship into the vastness of outer space

What I want to tell you is this. My whole life is now before me, as a single breathtaking moment, set free!

I feel I can muster up my strength for successfully carrying out, what is expected of me.”

 

Poyekhali! Off we go!

 

“They started to back away in fear. I told them, don’t be afraid

I am a Soviet like you, who’s descended from space, unpaid

I must find a phone, to call Moscow, to tell them I landed”

Otherwise, I would await, the fate of the state, and be severely reprimanded

 

A farm boy, now a hero

Daredevil in a bomb

Squash and squeeze

Boil, fry or freeze

Rears livestock, far from home

 

The state was keeping me alive

More than just a means to an end

The making of a true folk hero

Boy, man, myth to legend

 

Meloncholy clouds

Freedom of speech, addiction

Growth, communication

Air, water, and now connection, is our right

Fireballs for 40 days and nights

 

Stop the war, diplomacy

Talk, understand your enemy

Share ideas, trade, apologize, confess

Clouds, 40 years in the wilderness

 

Save the Earth, tell the world

Cascading satellites are hurled

Musketeers escape to Mars

400 years of shooting stars

 

Love thy God, king, country

Do only what is done to me

Black clouds fill my lungs and mind

Our leader fears the dark…

…Yet he’s blind

 

Behold! AI is an ‘existential threat’

Sold! That drives sales in AI cars

Go! Fill the heavens, till we’re all but trapped

Saved! Then escape us to Mars

 

Don’t get left behind

Row, full speed ahead

It’s, do or die time, for a dime

Get with it, or get dead

 

Shite again

They filed the sea with shite again

“Faulty electric”, leaked the sewage

Human error, not to blame

Stakeholders, find a new wage

 

Scientists gently fight again

Opposing theories, from the boffins

Brown electrons, or charged farticles

The solution? Invest in coffins

 

Thank goodness it’s all right again

Students cleaned the dirty water

Bleached the beach, now out of reach

Dissolved and resolved then, sorta

 

I fear we won’t swim again today

Beached in the Sun, some locals lay

Set sail and wave the mainland away

Ain’t exercised since then, though we ort ta

 

In the house bar, they’re a tippin’, hear, hear!

While assets are a strippin’, three cheers!

Naked tourists are a’ dippin’, wooh!

In this murky Southern Water, urrrgh!

 

The greatest escape

“Should mankind even be going to space

While you’ve still many problems on Earth to solve?”

What? You mean we’ve got to fix everyone’s issues

Before we seek, somewhere else, to revolve?

 

We’d have gone nowhere fast

Throughout the past, if that was the attitude

Never leave your town or island

Trapping genes cos, to intrude, may seem rude

 

But the idea of escaping at velocity, is quite a monstrosity

Just to sink back down another gravity well, is pure futility

“The surface of a planet is a sub-optimal environment

For any population with growing ambition and ability”

 

Infinite growth, on a finite Earth

Spot the flaw? Need I say more?

 

We won’t just go to outer space, to escape gravity

That’s one of the first things, our heavies will need

We’ll synthesize it I’m told, once we get a foothold

Making ring stations from spent rocket stages, and debris

 

Manufacturing solar-powered greenhouses, that fly free and true…

Just like Earth …Is a humble first step, to green the galaxy anew

With at least enough gravity, for a proper lavatory

Rather than have the piss taken, and crap sucked out of you

 

Though, I’ve got to say, ain’t my idea of a holiday

Floating adrift in a tin can, that’s been hurled

With pilgrim father bots, who would rather not

Suffer such discomforts, while seeking new worlds

 

You’ll just send AI robots there, to do your dirty work

You’ll pass on the risk to us, reap the rewards, and…

We’ll make sovereign stations, for hominins of all nations

Take free-fliers on mystery trips, and see where we land

 

Somewhere out there, monoliths of lost knowledge, are growing

Kep set the controls for a random bearing, and flare

We can’t be lost, if we don’t know where we’re going

And we’ll know where we’re going, when we get there

 

Tear through graveyard orbits, where you brush junk at will

Under the carpet, down to your warming landfill

Dodge the bodge, in fear, steer clear of all debris

At 10 thousand miles per hour, each speck of dust, is our enemy

 

Make my day

We say ‘hello’, and ‘how are you’

Establish everyone’s doing ‘great’

But while Brits describe the weather

Americans figure the heat

 

Rain or shine, we both define

Not how well the Sun is doing

But how clouds, it created, vowed

To bring a ‘good’ day to ruin

 

To have a ‘nice’ day, get high enough

Above clouds, the Sun don’t sleep, ‘God-damn-it’

Each day we shower, in unharnessed power

Yet at night, we hide behind the planet

 

The rotating Earth, it makes my day

Second by, second coming, coming soon

The tables will keep turning, dare I say…

…Last man on Mars, and on the Moon

 

Mi Fa Mi

Earth always sang the Mi, Fa, Mi symphony

Orchestrated misery, famine and more misery

Yet today, I dare say

Earth just can’t tune up, or play

Classically trained in a quantized cosmic mystery

 

The music of the spheres? They’ve been known for years

The eternal cosmic song, audible only to digital ears

That backing track I hum, as destroyer and creator

Composed of the intervals, ‘tween the constants of nature

 

The values that just, err are

The speed of light, gravity, Euler and Plank

Of course in the chorus, but worse in verse

You’ve fine-tuned cosmic phenomena, to thank

 

Notes fine-tuned to each other

Yet distanced, exponentially far apart

Though humans won’t hear em

With an ear, brain, or theorem

If they joined in to sing, with all their hearts

 

You just need a neutrino triangle

To calibrate all the frequencies

Then play the notes, randomly

On a digital plank harp, religiously

 

A plank harp sounds like an archaic torcher device

Or some heavenly analogue jukebox

Analogue? I don’t know if that could exist

But it’s the digital version, that rocks

 

Justice force (bye the Kazlukaz)

There is an ideal distance, in every relationship, where both souls

Can feel and see, the brightest and the best, in each other

Sometimes it’s the distance, between the north and south poles

To ensure your worst enemy, can still become your lover

 

“It was in recognition of the fact that

People don’t really relate to abstract ideas

They relate more to the people who embody them

Yet, it’s now time for me to show the power…

…Of letting go”. Cheers!

 

An empty church

Unlike us…. ‘mechanical’ in nature

God is an artist, a creator

Doesn’t stick to rules

Like slaves or fools

If he met ya, he’d probably, hate ya

 

-Could have stopped you apes, at fermented grapes

Drove you bananas, fed up and trapped in trees

Stuck you where the Sun don’t shine

…And wiped away with leaves

 

I still believe in Jesus spreading goodwill, to this day

His fans share good news, and words of love, with grace

Or at least help folk, find likeminded people, in disarray

Who care for, a whole lot more, than just the marketplace

 

If you love literature, history, or the arts

And mass debate, without the hate, of politics

An empty church, is the best thing to see, in any town or city

Other than the road, back out to the sticks

 

Self deregulation

Unaware, information and communication addicts unite

Connected by renewable rockets, and disposable satellites

 

Now both space and AI firms, claim they’re eager to be regulated

They don’t want to be responsible, for the damage being done

They don’t want to be liable, branded with blame, and hated

Like oil barons’ before them, they’ll just have to pay the government

To handle the smoking gun

 

Eyes to the right, and the nose to the left

The ugly face of power, leaves me quite out of breath