They said I was a weirdo, I had no friends or charm
My rabid dog-like nature, was bound to do some harm
My father beat my mother, sold my brother to slavery
I had to show some worth damn fast, or it would happen to me
So off to school I went, with a dislike of all the rest
Arrogant and acidic, I was still the best
At Latin, rhetoric and geometry, of which earned my path
To a seat in Ulm University, teaching students maths
My faith and vision showed my intellect was grand
I trekked to help revise the skies, in another land
But my master kept the best data, of all the spheres
And I would not gain access to it, ‘til there were some tears
I penned a work of fiction, and disguised it as a dream
I said my mother was a witch, and that was pretty mean
But then they locked the crony up, and tortured her as well
It took me years of grief, to get her release from the cell
The book described the creatures, who lived upon the Moon
Whilst it carves out an orbit, to play a cosmic tune
But little did we know, it would be ‘us’ who’d live up there
‘Cos NASA owns the Universe, and that is everywhere!
Frau Kepler was a witch, you snitched
You heard her scream in pain
She just sat there, broke wind, and died
And then broke wind again